That Imperfect Person You Married

The cartoon shows a couple standing in front of the minister about to take their marriage vows. The pastor addresses the groom, “Do you, John, a sinful, fallen, imperfect man, take you Mary, a sinful, fallen, imperfect woman, to be your lawfully wedded wife?” We laugh, but unfortunately it’s reality. We are all imperfect human beings, and when we marry, we marry an imperfect human being. It’s no wonder that there are adjustments in marriage.

If you did not marry Cinderella or Prince Charming, you may be tempted to think that someone else could bring you the satisfaction you expected. That gal who works with you at your office begins to look more and more attractive. The friendly guy who lives in the condo next door—you begin to wonder what it would be like to be married to him instead your husband.

At that point, what makes or breaks your marriage is your level of commitment. Did you really mean it when you promised to love for better or worse, so long as you both shall live?

What we need to get through the difficult times in marriage is commitment to each other—commitment not even to look at another person with desire. Jesus said, “Anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart” (Matthew 5:28), Men do this physically. But women do it emotionally—watching TV, thinking about movie stars—or day-dreaming about that guy next door.

It can make a tremendous difference when you decide ahead of time that you will obey God. Joshua said, “As for me and my household, we will serve the Lord” (Joshua 24:15). Decide that every time you think about a relationship with someone else, you will immediately put the thought out of your mind.

None of us is perfect, but marriage adjustments don’t have to be fatal. You can find God’s grace to overlook the imperfections of the one you married. It all depends on your commitment.


Do you have a story to share about a time you made adjustments in your marriage?