Benjamin Franklin once said, “Keep your eyes wide open before marriage and half shut afterward!” Not a bad idea, for it seems before we marry, we see only the good points in our mates. Afterwards, we learn that every good point has its opposite.
A woman married a man because he was “strong and masculine”; she left him because he was a very “dominating male.” He married her because she was so “fragile and petite”; he left her because she was so “weak and helpless.” She chose him because “he knew how to provide a good living”; she left him because “all he thought about was business.” He married her because she was “steady and sensible”; he divorced her because she was “boring and dull.”
Yes, every coin has a reverse side. But that doesn’t mean the coin isn’t valuable. So it is with our marriages. We tend to be attracted to someone who is the opposite of ourselves. If you’re outgoing, you were probably attracted to someone quiet and reserved because you found serenity with that person. If, on the other hand, you’re the introvert, you may have been attracted to the life of the party because that person was exciting.
But if your mate begins to grate on you, go back to your dating days and try doing some of the things that you enjoyed most before you married. Concentrate on what you love about your mate instead of what rubs you like sandpaper.
In the book of Revelation, God speaks to the church in Ephesus and says, “I hold this against you: You have forsaken your first love. Remember the height from which you have fallen! Repent and do the things you did at first” (Rev. 2:4-5). Of course He is speaking about love for God in these verses, but I think there is a principle here for marriage. Go back to the way you used to treat each other. You may be surprised what a difference it makes.
 H.G.B., “Reverse Reasoning,” Our Daily Bread Magazine, published by Radio Bible Class, Grand Rapids, MI, August 26, 1972.
What were the traits that attracted you to your marriage?